


No Escape

by ThePanicRoom



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Caroline and Cave are siblings, Caroline is mega gay, Cave and Caroline's father sucks, Cave is actually a decent human in this, Cave is soon to be Vice Principal under his father, F/F, F/M, GLaDOS is a big Lesbian, GLaDOS is a big Mom Friend, GLaDOS is hella oblivious, Main focus on GLaDOS & Caroline & Chell, Multi, This is probably not as funny as I wanted it to be, Wheatley is actually a decent person and doesn't fuck Chell over, Wheatley is funny for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 04:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16967922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePanicRoom/pseuds/ThePanicRoom
Summary: .RoboJesus: Wheatley, I swear to all that is holy, if you don't fucking change my name right now, I will murder you.RoboFucker: Well that's definitely Gladys.RoboFucker: waiT OH MY GOD WHEATLEY YOU LITTLE SHITGod: Heh, losers. B)





	No Escape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heartmonitor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartmonitor/gifts).



> Me and Heartmonitor came up with this LOVELY idea, and I felt it was necessary to share❤️
> 
>  
> 
> RoboJesus - Gladys (GLaDOS)  
> RoboFucker - Caroline  
> God - Wheatley  
> SilentPsycho - Chell  
> LabRat - Rattmann

**WHEATLEY made a Chat!**  
**WHEATLEY added GLADYS, CAROLINE, CHELL, and DOUG**

**WHEATLEY named the chat "No Escape"**

**WHEATLEY changed the nickname of EVERYONE**

 

 **God** : Welcome to hell my friends B)

 **RoboJesus** : Oh god, it's you.

 **RoboJesus** : Wait what the fuck?

 **RoboJesus** : Wheatley, I swear to all that is holy, if you don't fucking change my name right now, I will murder you.

 **RoboFucker** : Well that's definitely Gladys.

 **RoboFucker** : waiT OH MY GOD WHEATLEY YOU LITTLE SHIT

 **God** : Heh, losers. B)

 **RoboJesus** : Who the hell is RoboFucker?

 **LabRat** : Caroline

 **SilentPsycho** : Caroline

 **SilentPsycho** : Caroline

 **RoboFucker** : Wow. Thanks guys. So helpful. :)

 **RoboJesus** : Wait,

 **RoboJesus** : Caroline

 **RoboFucker** : Yeah?

 **RoboJesus** : You fucked a Robot?

 **RoboFucker** : Gladys no I

 **God** : PFFF HAHAHAH OH MY G O D, GLADYS

 **RoboJesus** : What? Isn't that what that means?

 **God** : KEJXKWPDJAJDJKS

 **RoboFucker** : I officially hate you Wheatley. Gladys, I'll explain later I swEAr-

 

***PRIVATE CHAT*  
WHEATLEY & CAROLINE**

**Carol-In** : Dude, seriously.

 **Wheat-Lee** : What???

 **Carol-In** : Can you maybe? Keep off?? Gladys doesn't know dude

 **Wheat-Lee** : I know, I'm just trying to help Caroline

 **Carol-In** : Yeah I know but like

 **Carol-In** : I don't wanna tell her yet.

 **Wheat-Lee** : Yeah, that's understandable. Sorry Caroline, ily TnT

 **Carol-In** : Yeah yeah, ily2 :)

 **Carol-In** : But don't change my nickname in that chat. As much as I hate the Robot Fucker joke, it's funny. It's also mean because Gladys is not a robot >:(

 **Wheat-** **Lee** : Mhm, whatever you say B)

 **Carol-** **In** : Wheatley I swear to g o d

.

**[GROUP CHAT]**

***No Escape***

**RoboJesus** : Why later?? We have time now don't we?

 **RoboFucker** : Bleh, too boring right now.

 **RoboJesus** : ????

 **God** : Damn, rip Gladys, shot down immediately

 **RoboJesus** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **God** : KDKJEDIWIKD OOF

 **SilentPsycho** : D a m n, Gladys? Using Emoticons? This can't be happening, what happened to the REAL Gladys! >:(

 **RoboJesus** : ???? What??? Can I not be Hip and Cool™?

 **RoboFucker** : God I wanna

 **RoboFucker** : Smash God: woah

 **RoboFucker** : Your face into a wall

 **SilentPsycho** : Jesus christ,,,

 **RoboJesus** : >:( This is bullying.

 **God** : Says you

 **RoboJesus** : Yes says me. Are you brain damaged?

 **RoboFucker** : No, but you might be

 **LabRat** : Jesus,,, I should not have reopened this chat,,,,

 **God** : Yikes, Caroline,,,

 **RoboFucker** : What do you MEAN Yikes??? She's allowed to call us brain damaged but if I jOkekdkneskowiwidicjsndkwlj

 **SilentPsycho** : Oh no!

 **God** : f

 **LabRat** : F

 **RoboFucker** : This is Gladys, just letting you know that Caroline is a big asshole and I will be fighting her outside in a Denny's parking lot at three AM >:(

 **God** : Jesus christ this is giving me whiplash,,, she can't be RoboJesus anymore if she keeps acting like a meme instead of a robot like she usually does,,,

 **SilentPsycho** : "usually does" you've clearly never texted her before. This is how she always acts in texts.

 **God** : ??? BUT IRL SHES SO MEAN???AND LIKE A BEEP BOOP RO FUCKING BOT???

 **RoboFucker** : TAKE THAT BACK NOW, SHE LITERALLY JUST BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND SMOTHERED ME WITH PILLOWS AND STOLET MY PHONE,,, THAT IS NOT ROBOT BEHAVIOR

 **RoboJesus** : :)

 **LabRat** : How?? Did you get your phone back??

 **RoboFucker** : Strength

 **RoboJesus** : She bit me

 **God** : PFFF WHAT

 **RoboJesus** : Yeah, I took her phone, and she said she wanted to show me something, so I lowered my arm so she could direct me, and she grabbed my arm and fucKING BIT ME

 **RoboJesus** : and then took off with her phone.

 **RoboJesus** : Ok Google: Why am I terrified and aroused?

 **God** : KSJDKEDKSJ

 **SilentPsycho** : w h AT THE FUCK GLADYS

 **LabRat** : Jesus fu c k, this chat moves too fast,,,

 **RoboFucker** : ,,,

 **RoboFucker** : I can't tell if that's supposed to be a compliment or not.

 **RoboJesus** : :)

 **RoboJesus** : Guess you'll just have to find out on your own UwU

 **RoboFucker** : ,

 **God** : She killed her,

 **God** : Caroline is DEAD!


End file.
